Michigan is cold and Ponderosa waitresses are skanks

I spent ten hours in a van with my parents and only got in one fight, during which I gave my brother a titty-twister and he called me a "faggot." I didn't even know he knew what that word meant. Maybe he doesn't. Either way, it was awesome. We went to Ponderosa, and I think all of the high school waitresses had some sort of bet to see who could get the goofy-looking "I got hooked on fishing" guy to hit on them. It was surreal. One of them walked up, stared directly at my crotch, smiled, and then brushed against me as she walked away. Another did the classic drop a spoon and deliberately bend over thing. They took turns cleaning all of the tables immediately next to ours. Fucking weird. My brother and I had the last laugh, though. We walked up to the salad bar and waited for a couple of the girls to start fidgeting with the shit around us, then Adam looked at me and said, "Dad, can I get some ice cream?" Strange looks and isolation ever since - finally, something I'm familiar with. Adam made the friggen weekend. He kicks ass at Catch Phrase. Did I mention he called me a faggot?